I’m really not one to make New Year’s Resolutions. I like to work on improving myself year round. But I have in years past resolved to lose weight.
 
Well, this New Year rolled around and I find myself again wanting to resolve to lose weight. And then I hate that I’m becoming *that person,* the one who resolves every year to lose weight and never does. So, I’m not going to be that person! I’m making some new resolutions this year!
 
1. I resolve to create healthy habits.
 
My sister is going to be my workout accountability partner and we’re going to exercise three times a week. I’ve been following the Trim Healthy Mama diet, but I cheat way too much! This year I’m going to cut back my cheating to only one day a week. Yeah, I know, that’s still a lot, but it’s less than I have been doing!
 
2. I resolve to read one new book about birth each month.
 
I have a fantastic lending library for my clients! I’ve read a lot of them, but not all. So this year I’m setting a goal of reading one book a month. Between doula work, homeschooling, and housekeeping, I think that’s a realistic goal for me.
 
3. I resolve to write out a to-do list every weekday morning.
 
I find I get so much more work done when I write myself a realistic to-do list. Hopefully this will help me stay on top of laundry!
 
4. I resolve to read my Bible everyday.
 
I started last year doing well, but I fizzled out in December when I was supposed to be reading Revelation. I get a New Testament reading plan emailed to me from Bible Gateway, so I’m going to continue with that.
 
I think I have some realistic and measurable goals for myself this year. I’m excited!
 
Do you have any New Year’s Resolutions?

Christmas is just around the corner! Christmas trees are decorated, wreaths are on doors, houses and neighborhoods are bathed in sparkly lights, Christmas music is playing everywhere.
 
Oh, and it’s time to make your Christmas list and to find the perfect gift for those you love.
 
Is Zenith Birth Services on your Christmas list? If you’re pregnant and wanting to hire a doula or encapsulate your placenta, it should be!
 
I offer gift certificates that can be used towards my services. Contact me to find out more!
 
Merry Christmas!

As I shared in my last post, I had two premature babies. My first was in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for 43 days. My second was only there for 13 days, but that was still 13 days too many. Tim and I learned a lot of things in the NICU, so I thought I’d share 6 ways to help a NICU family.
 
1. Offer to help around the house
We had a friend come over to finish a load of laundry that we had wet in our washer when Brannon was born. We had multiple friends mow our lawn for the 6 weeks he was in the NICU. It was such a weight off of our minds to not have to think about some of the mundanities of everyday life while we were devoting some much of our mental energy to learning new medical terms and conditions.
 
2. Bring them a box of good Kleenexes
Hospital Kleenexes are not that soft or absorbent, and as a NICU mom, I did a lot of crying! So having nice Kleenexes around was so helpful.
 
3. Congratulate them on their new baby, but also acknowledge that this situation isn’t what they wanted or hoped for
I had well meaning friends congratulate me on Brannon’s birth and be so happy and upbeat about it. I just wanted to scream at them that I didn’t want my baby born yet, I didn’t want him to have such a hard time at the very start of his life, I wanted him still safely inside of me. Of course I didn’t do that, because my friends were trying to be kind. Here’s what I say when I talk to someone who has just had an early baby, “Congratulations on your birth! I’m sorry that Baby has to start life with such struggles. How are you doing emotionally?”
 
4. Bring them a book
If you know what type of books they like, get them one or two. Winnie the Pooh is always a good one that just about everyone likes, and it’s a good read aloud, even for babies! Or bring a book of crossword puzzles of Sudoku if they like that.
 
5. Get them a restaurant gift card
Nursing moms can eat at the hospital and insurance pays for it, but dads need to eat, too. We spent so much money on food because I wasn’t home to cook. Tim would come straight from work to the hospital and often ate at the hospital cafeteria or got takeout. Look into a gift card for your local hospital’s cafeteria, or else get one for a nearby restaurant with a drive-through.
 
6. Don’t ask when Baby gets to come home
Everyone loves to talk about their children, but NICU parents get tired of answering this question! Frankly, there usually isn’t a good answer. People would ask if Brannon needed to weigh a certain amount before he could come home. It doesn’t work that way. He had a list of things he had to accomplish. He had to keep his body temperature up, eat on his own (not through a feeding tube), be off of oxygen support, and maintain a positive growth curve. All of those things use up calories, so he had to develop enough to do all of those things at once and still have extra calories to grow. He wasn’t able to do it all until he was 5 pounds 8 ounces. Our daughter, on the other hand, was born only 5 weeks early, and she was able to come home at 4 pounds 3 ounces. She was able to meet all of the requirements when she was a lot smaller because she was more developed. So do a NICU parent a favor and don’t ask when their little one is coming home!
 
Above all, be kind and sensitive. People process premature birth differently, so watch your friend for cues as to how she wants you to respond.

Did you know that premature birth is the number one killer of babies? Yeah, I didn’t either, until this year. And I should have known it, having had two premature babies myself.
 
With my first pregnancy, for some reason I had a strong feeling that I would have a child with special needs, specifically Down Syndrome. I was actually surprised when, at my 20 week ultrasound, the ultrasound tech found a healthy baby.
 
Then, Brannon came early. I was not expecting that; I guess most people don’t. He was born eight weeks early, at 32 weeks, weighing 3 pounds 13 ounces. Being 18 inches long, he was a tall, skinny guy! He still had a lot of hair covering his body, and he just looked weird.
 
I hate that my first impression of him wasn’t “Oh how cute,” or “He’s so amazing,” but that he looked like a wet rat. I despise that prematurity took that from me.
 
How has premature birth affected you?

There’s a belief out there that one doula can be the best doula for every woman. I believe that a doula should be a good fit for most women, but one doula can’t be exactly what every single different woman wants. That’s why you should interview a handful of doulas before you hire the best one for you.
 
But how do you find out which is the one for you? Here’s a list of 5 questions to ask when you interview your doula.

1. What are your prices? What’s included?

Doulas charge a variety of rates. Some will work at a reduced rate while training; others need to charge more during training to cover their costs. Newer doulas may charge less than doulas who have been working for many years, and quite often that extra experience is worth paying for. Doulas will include different numbers of prenatal/postpartum visits in their price; some will have different packages to meet your needs. Others will offer specialized services like placenta encapsulation, belly casting, lactation support, or childbirth education. Be sure to find the doula who offers what you want for the price that works for your family.

2. I want to have this type of birth (fill this in with natural, medicated, planned cesarean, VBAC, etc.). What can you do to support me in that choice?

Doulas work with women who want all different types of births. If you’re planning to get an epidural, a doula can be beneficial for you. If you have a scheduled cesarean, a doula can still be a great help to you. You want to find a doula who has experience working with moms who have birthed the way you’re planning to birth.

3. I’m a religious/spiritual person. Would you be willing to actively participate in some facets of my beliefs, or would you at least be comfortable with my partner and me observing our traditions?

Many moms consider themselves religious or spiritual. Some moms will want Bible verses read to her, others will want guided meditation, or a plethora of other rites and rituals. Finding a doula who is comfortable with your belief system will be the best for you.

4. Here’s some of my history (prior traumatic birth, prior cesarean, sexual abuse). Have you worked with women who have experiences similar to mine?

We all have unique pasts. We all have things we carry with us, things we need to work through. Even if a doula hasn’t worked with women who have been in exactly the same situation as you, ask her about her training and confidence in supporting your special situation.

5. Are you comfortable encouraging and working alongside Dad?

Many dads are hesitant to hire a doula because they are afraid she will step on their toes and take over their roles. Doulas and dads have very different roles, and you want to find out a doula’s philosophy on this before you hire her. Getting a doula who works well with dads is important!

Hopefully these questions can get your minds turning. Now, I’m assuming that you’ve asked if the doula is available for your due date and works at your hospital even before you get to the interview, otherwise include those questions, too!
 
Any other questions you would add?